I’m not the only one that goes to work off what I might put on over the holidays, but being a black card holder to my gym makes me feel special. Of course its not the black platinum American Express but  this little black plastic card also has its perks. I get the shake and bake, rock and roll.  Massage chair and a crypt looking machine that encases water that sprays out  while lying down and does the same thing as the chair. Then I do the tanning machine for full 9 minutes and I’m in heaven. The music is trance and I dance inside the tube like a go go girl.  The fantasy of never having to wait to be asked to dance,  getting paid plus the imaginary outfits suits me fine. I have yet to participate in the pizza event at Planet Fitness but there they are  stacked high on a table at the entrance all alone. I don’t get it. I find the Lunk Alarm amusing too. Whenever the noise of grunts or weights being dropped reaches a certain level a fire alarm goes off, everybody kinda stops and looks for the offender. They need to call it the “hunk alarm” because that’s who setting it off.

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