On a Tokyo subway, this picture hit me like a ton of bricks. The closeness of the couple and the silent gesture. I added my interpretation of a desire like no other. “Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.” I want to be the person in the photo. And I am spinning in a tale of woe. I tell myself “It’s just better with butter.”. Holding hands often, laughing and taking in the small delightful feeling of the warmth of a hand placed in the small of my back. I am like a racehorse running to finish and happy to go back to my stall. I am painfully aware I am not received well by others. I say “Je veux te voir” and the subtle response caused me to look away. My intuition agrees with my sensibilities and I close the chapter to what I thought would be possible. Winner’s circle with beautiful flowers adorning my neck and the feeling of contentment.