I dislike it when someone says it outloud. I dislike this stitch of a sentence with intensity of the white hot sun. You see, I have brothers from another mother and we are loosely connected through few social networks. As of late there have been pictures posted of my real father who died 4 years ago yesterday. First glance was awkward then twinge of jealousy disguise as envy then downright sadness with what I call “Well at least you had assemblance of a family” as this pics portrayed. I often felt my relationship with his parents would suffice. Family have stated “Well you had your grandparents” the best default outcome I guess. This is where it hurts, as a young child that is picked last to be on a team so is this feeling. The ebb of time has flowed inadvertently in direction that has reached deeply to elicit melancholy without effort. And to have chest heaving sadness for the those who have gone. To my brother Aaron who I pretty sure if he was alive he’d say this very thing. I get it and yes may I one day get over it.