Never heard of this airlines until now. 200.00 dollars cheaper than the rest. No booze though but that’s not the end of the world for some people. Seats are comfortable but tall individuals will be challenged. At 5’6 knees are touching seat in front of me. Update I am aware of the flight from Bali to Jakarta that plunge into ocean immediately after take off. It is an inherent risk and I am aware.

Goodbye Nepal

Raj says ” You need to come back and stay a couple of months”. They identify themselves as mountain, Hill or flat people. Hindu and Buddhist. I spent time in all three areas and I am fond of the all the Nepalese. The hill people have shared with me the peacefullness of day to day life and musically I was most struck by mountain music. After my treks I turned to my friend and said I missed being with the hill people. Mother nature’s sounds and movements are most sought after by this soul. I taught myself some Nepal type dances and quizzed the locals. “Is this mountain hill or flat dance? They would smile and sometimes I would get it right. Nepal. Thank you so much for your goodness. Zaijian.

Death of a Hiker.

In the last few days of hiking, on October 23 I witnessed a body being pulled out of the water. Initially a mountain guide said it was someone who’s luggage went over the side and men were trying to retrieve it. I knew it wasn’t accurate given the scene. Several men at the base of the rocks and waterline. Luggage is colorful and floats fast down the rapids. I was on the other side of the “Big old river”. I looked more closely and under a few feet of surface water, was a man’s arms flailing yet stationary from trunk down. I gasped and cried as the story changed. I immediately asked “Nepalese?” And I’ve should have known better. The story changed to the thought of suicide to what is the most likely scenario. A hiker “without guide”, emphatically expressed by my guide, took his own route and fell. My travel wife did not have the morbid curiosity that seemed to be taking over as more cars and hikers gathered on both sides of the rapids with people asking “What happened?”. I wanted to talk to someone but no takers. It might be a morose thought but I choose to see his lifeless body trapped by a rock as a blessing. His body could be retrieved in order for a proper response by next of kin. I prayed and cried a little more than what was comfortable since I don’t know who he is. I frantically checked blotters and social media when access was available but no answer no mention of a man wearing bright yellow pants with black accessories. He appeared to be late 20’s to mid 30’s. Lean, fair skin with facial hair beard and dark short hair. Futile attempts to resuscitate him may have caused more sadness for some. And all I can do is pray and one day I will know what happened. Some may find record not suitable it ends in 30 seconds.

Lahke pass….okay I will

“I have no business hiking” My inner voice said. It hurt to stretch and I moaned a lot. I saw helicopters above and thoughts of hitching a ride out sounded so enticing. Or maybe ride down on a horse or donkey but I kept telling myself to just put one foot in front of the other. 10 hours later I was down My motives are clear. I often want to see who I am and what am I made of. I am the reluctant hiker and I am made of sheer determination and will power….if only for a moment. Zaijian

If I could. Nepal please

I thought of Sir Edmond Hilary as I was huffing and puffing on a trek I had no business being on. May 29 1953 this man from New Zealand scaled Mount Everest. Such a feat granted him knighthood from the Queen. The Sherpa Tenging Norge was really the hero. I am completely exhausted never have I seen so many rocks and road apples. The French and Germans are giving me tips on how to breathe. “use your diaphragm” I wanna tell them y’all have the Alps and Pyrennes mountains. I’ve decided I’m the reluctant hiker and curse under my breath “why why? As I lie on bed of rocks ( feels like it) I feel my thigh and it’s rock hard and not because of muscle development it’s like lock jaw of the loins. It hurts to stretch. Somehow I must of romanced the hell out of this trip. And now I have a touch altitude sickness. Chest pain which feels like spasms and a gas bubble. The things you do for love. Cynthia…bite me. Zaijian.


My travel wife says “you pick”. Places on list were Morrocco and Eastern Europe. I chose Nepal from an idea that this place is magical. I will act as a traveler and conduct myself accordingly. I understand the world is becoming saturated with tourists and the locals may not state how they really feel about this commerce. So I will try not to be selfie absorbed. I was fine yesterday until an acquaintance told me that the trek is substantial and bridges with foot boards reveal crevasses with a 200 feet drop. “WHAT?”. Now it’s all I am thinking about. Called my bank and no currency exchange for Nepal rhupees. Videos on YouTube are couple years old. Here we go again. I hope I am physically prepared. Diamox for altitude sickness and water purification tabs. 26 days of trekking which is different from hiking I tell myself. I call for reassuring pep talk and she says ” we can back out” and all of a sudden I feel a warm flush like sensation and respond to her. “No we are doing this”. Again I am humbled by what lies ahead. Zaijian.

Woe…fully Yours

On a Tokyo subway, this picture hit me like a ton of bricks. The closeness of the couple and the silent gesture. I added my interpretation of a desire like no other. “Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.” I want to be the person in the photo. And I am spinning in a tale of woe. I tell myself “It’s just better with butter.”. Holding hands often, laughing and taking in the small delightful feeling of the warmth of a hand placed in the small of my back. I am like a racehorse running to finish and happy to go back to my stall. I am painfully aware I am not received well by others. I say “Je veux te voir” and the subtle response caused me to look away. My intuition agrees with my sensibilities and I close the chapter to what I thought would be possible. Winner’s circle with beautiful flowers adorning my neck and the feeling of contentment.

Toy Kee Yo!

I been to Japan few times but finally got to Tokyo without a short layover. And guess what? It’s not expensive. The limousine bus from Narita is just a bus with comfortable seating. No graffiti or trash anywhere. Note to self “there is the Park Hyatt and the Hyatt regency. I was under the impression I was going to be in the”Lost in Translation” hotel. Sky top bar, deep delicious tub and self retractable curtains. I was mildly amused when I figured I’m at the other one. Yen to USD is quick conversion in your head. 2000 yen is 18 bucks, move the decimal over to left and you’ve pretty much figured it out. Not a lot of smiling faces in the financial district but just enough at the hotel to make you feel better. Fresh young faces with their K-town hair in “di tou zuo” ,(low heads) position on the metro. Favorite snacks often is rice based:sticky and earthy. Who knew coffee “everything” reigns supreme whether it’s iced hot or concoction base they’re consuming it throughout the day. Temples are overrun by tourists and I understand it’s no longer as sacred as before. Tokyo is lush with canopy trees and a feeling of peacefulness takes you by surprise as you saunter. Dollar star is Daiso where I purchased 2 teas, fanny pack, wrist support, tweezers and water for about 5 bucks. Checking out social media sites three things stood out: cats, food presentation pictures and humor. No casino or poker rooms but I’m pretty sure there is gambling going on and I just have to find out which district. Ah let me guess ends in ku. Sayonara and Zaijian.


20180520_131254_film2He asks “You’re never gonna call me again huh?” I couldn’t bring myself to confirm but glossed over It as to say it was the painful truth. My friend said “you’re done fighting but you’re not done with him”. I put my head down which suddenly became heavy with grief. She was right and being hurt occupied a greater part of how I felt. With camps divided I know this too shall come to pass and as I let the sleeping tiger lie and refrain from saying anything to needlessly hurt another, I have moved on. I am using all the distractions I can muster to get over the hump and it’s coming. I had to ask myself what it will be like to literally see him with someone else. And then I quickly remember him saying more than once “You are not allowed to bring another guy here and F**K him in my bed.” I thought “would he do the same”?. Meanwhile I cozy up to friends and family well aware of who we both are. No winners just sadness as I begin a long goodbye to someone I had loved very much.