Iowa

On the westbound lanes stopped to rest WHERE?  Only the biggest truck stop in the world. A brief and interesting visit where I snapped  pictures like a Japanese tourist at Disney land. Then we mosied down the highway to the Kinze plant to nap. The locals with their smoky treats and hot dogs explained the acres of unharvested corn eventually ends up in feed, methanol and corn chips. “Hmm interesting” I also notice everyone had good skin, healthy bodies and well manicured facial hair. Goatee or fu manchu, Soul patch and a few fades.  I felt like I was in a sea of Tim McGraw s.  Faith fully yours Girl about the country.

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Solitary Event

One of first things I notice when I decided to hop in the truck, was the lifestyle of the trucker. Here’s the distinction as I am told. “We are movers And there happens to be a truck involved” The longer I’m out here the more sense that statement makes. I see so many men out here, eating by themselves and staring out with far away eyes.  What are they thinking about?  I know what I’m thinking about. Everything that we wear eat smell taste hold buy or share came on a truck and although I am grateful they have chosen this solitary lifestyle I also hope they are more alone than lonely.

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Time Warp

I asked “are we on east coast central or pacific time?” It’s obvious based on location but circadian rhythm is what I’m talking about.  Out here days and times are thrown off schedule.  I pass through 3 states in one day and two time zones later I’ll ask “Where are we?”. I’m not a driver yet so as I look outside to the rows of houses, trailers and Doughboy pools I tend to focus  on the people who dwell there. I make up a stories, little cute ones about who comes over to swim and when is so and so going fishing with Uncle Mel. They are wholesome good stories which speaks to my internal dialog. Racing towards and away from the sun, chasing the clock and losing track of days is peculiar event I’ve come to accept.

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A Bowl of What?

wpid-20141007_204836.jpgThis following 4way conversation happened in Toledo Ohio Petro truck stop yesterday.  “Hey how’s the prime rib?” Waitress with glasses and tired smile said. “It’s ‘all you can eat’ on Thurs it comes with a bowl of soup ” then some guy said “Ebola soup? ” then another trucker says ” I’d rather have that than the prime rib”. It was bound to happen.

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The Sting

Imagine Wendy O Williams from plasmatics (early 80’s punk My Mtv). I was doing truck stop laundry and there’s a gal with multi muted colored spiky hair, tartan skirt, black boots and yea she was a trucker “F**k this F**k that”. Good figure and a pretty face that had seen a lot. She shares a tale of woe “ya I used to be a stripper down in Florida” she also left out a lot. She was pissed because her man cheated and ended up marrying the transition chick. That let into a diatribe about men.  I’m thinking shit I got stuck with this crazy gal who’s gonna go on and on. Then I asked her. “Have you ever been in love?” She said “Yes 14 years ago I had the love of my life” I said “Good, some people go an entire life without.” She agreed and went back to folding her thong panties.

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Da hood

IMG_0033I couple walks into a bar full of Zombies. No really it happened last nite unbeknownst to me, the Birthday boy and his guests it was Walking Dead ala pub crawl. Thank goodness.  Our taxi guy expressed a sad tale of abandonment that has taken over downtown Gary Indiana. He had his solution which was both sound and simple. “Why doesn’t the governor or the Mayor care anymore” I felt bad. I’m glad I didn’t respond or react. Listening in this case was an appropriate response.

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Say a little prayer for me.

When I was a single digit midget my brother and I often said the following prayer.  “Now I lay me down to sleep a bag of twinkies by my feet If I should die before I wake I ask you Lord my Soul to Take”. Now there are snow flurries here in Elgin Illinois and we are out driving and I am still praying. A fellow driver ran us to store then invited us to his home 9 people and 2 Rottweilers later I realize the kindness of others make laborious days seem trite
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Cheeswizconsin

Didn’t spend enough time here to get any kind of pulse of Wisconsin.  At the fuel pump now is chance to hop out and grab a drink or use the ladies room. The driver said “did you see that whole island of cheese? I didn’t I in robot mode I did not compute. Then we laughed because I said a line at some bar in Wisconsin would go like this “I  wanna fondle you and the driver says fondue you? “What”

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Shower Power

As you know living in a truck you take showers where can. At the satellite offices known as the yard or the truck stops. Here’s the fun part you are always walking into a new scenario. There have been times where the dial handle was a wrench and another time one truck stop had a rain forest shower so glorious. Sometimes I’ll check out the shower to see if there are any 6 or 8 legged creatures. Ah this one looks clear. Then I let out a blood curdling scream because just under the ledge or lip was a ginormous insect like the kind you find in Guatemala rain forest. Hiding, this thing, waiting to pounce. I should be thankful at least it let me lather rinse and repeat.

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