Miss-conception

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Free time means two hour lunches with my mom’s friends and acquaintances. Over dessert, one piece of pie and six forks, an attractive 71 year old shares that she will be going to Mexico City to join her younger Latin boyfriend. She says she loves him and he is fond of her. While there she’ll dine, shop and get ” frisky” . I felt reassured that our life is not a bell curve but a series of peaks and valleys. I haven’t bought in to the misconception that getting older means that having relations comes to a screeching halt. I have no one to ask ( hell no I am not asking my mom TMI) and I wouldn’t ask out of respect. So imagine how refreshing I felt to hear giddiness and delightfully delicious banter about sex. Another gal who is recently widowed expressed desire to meet a man and be in love again. All these gals are seventy plus in age and they are divine. They are polished, sophisticated, and fun. But one sour patch in the bunch said “At my age, if I meet someone I’ll either be a purse or a nurse”. I want to be Diane Von Furstenberg.

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Gym jamboree

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I’m not the only one that goes to work off what I might put on over the holidays, but being a black card holder to my gym makes me feel special. Of course its not the black platinum American Express but  this little black plastic card also has its perks. I get the shake and bake, rock and roll.  Massage chair and a crypt looking machine that encases water that sprays out  while lying down and does the same thing as the chair. Then I do the tanning machine for full 9 minutes and I’m in heaven. The music is trance and I dance inside the tube like a go go girl.  The fantasy of never having to wait to be asked to dance,  getting paid plus the imaginary outfits suits me fine. I have yet to participate in the pizza event at Planet Fitness but there they are  stacked high on a table at the entrance all alone. I don’t get it. I find the Lunk Alarm amusing too. Whenever the noise of grunts or weights being dropped reaches a certain level a fire alarm goes off, everybody kinda stops and looks for the offender. They need to call it the “hunk alarm” because that’s who setting it off.

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Cruise Countdown

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Poker is a game I enjoy playing, I also enjoy traveling so combine both and you got Card Players Poker Cruises. My trip leaves in a few days and I have yet to play any poker for months and months. I ran into a gal I know from my past poker days and her and I agreed. Poker has kinda faded away for both of us. Both she and I started a few years before the scene went crazy. Tournaments with 120 people became more like 1200. I thought it would be a field of dreams but it became a nightmare. Winning or at least making it into the money was becoming more and more elusive. I switched games and that helped but the players I’m up against having been playing Omaha hi-Lo poker longer than I’ve been alive. And the bankroll, yes you need a bankroll. One of the regulars I know that shows up on this cruise with his super hot European tan wife, and he has a lot of moohla. At the Venetian in Las Vegas, he often is seen at the Omaha 30$-60$ table which means if you wanna play a hand it’s thirty dollars and goes up after that. I’ll refrain from saying whether or not he’s a good player, but if you got enough money you can handle the swings of the game. I’m more on a teeter totter. I have a crew I’m going with. There are also other crews like the Armenians who bring some kick ass booze so strong that when I drink it my body temperature instantaneously goes up 10 degrees. And the dealers most whom are from Florida are solid aggressive players so when their shift is over and they sit down to play I am totally aware to be on my game. Then there are the owners Jan Fisher and Linda Johnson. Between these two women there are at least a dozen of poker books written. One of the them is in the worlds hall of fame for poker. My crew includes my mom our friend Marian and the driver Jlo and me. I have a feeling that we are gonna have lots of fun and make lots of money because we have The best Luck.

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Keen No

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A quick layover from Las Vegas to Los Angeles allows me to get my fix. I heard most people are addicted to either one or more the following; alcohol sugar caffeine nicotine salt. I’ll add Keno to my caffeine and sugar. It’s a random numbers game, a math probability game which has its appeal but for me I observe the people playing it. Locals come to the Orleans ( Or- lins) and according to house staff there are a series of machines lined up against the escalators also known as skid row. I see a lady who taps the side of her machine five times hits the “deal/draw” button three times sweeps her hand across the screen like a lovers caress then strokes the side from top to bottom every, single time. She does this all the while a cigarette is dangling from her lips with ashes still attached half way down the length and holding a high ball. Then you have the “tweakers” obviously they don’t sit still, they order “Piña Coladas two please with Amaretto” don’t tip the waitress and as quickly as they arrived they are gone. I remembered two prostitutes sitting next to each other playing one cent Keno chatting and drinking, along comes a security guard ( this happened at another casino) small talk ensued and one of the gals says ” look I got a bonus” delightful giddy laughter begins when the security guard says “I’ve got a bonus just standing here talking to you”. This last one touches my heart. This older gentleman had his wife sitting in front of him on the same chair being that both of them were of small stature, while he looked and press the buttons his chin resting on her shoulder and his arms around her waist. I could tell she had some kind of a stroke. There they were  together. l had never seen this and it hit me in a way that only love could have created such a simple solution.

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Chocolate Massacre

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Women love chocolate.  With one exception.  In 12 days I am going on a quickie Poker cruise the last one I was on  I partied hard late into the night, I then crawled into my bed as not to wake up my bunk mates.  In the morning I screamed looking at my bed then grabbing  my neck for some kind answer to the question “who stabbed me in the night” why? OMG the sheets had what appeared to be old blood high up on the pillow area. Duh, these luxurious cruises place a chocolate on your pillow before you retire, I fell asleep and melted that damn  Ghirardelli chocolate square. Mystery solved. 

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Quote

Don’t Be Bold

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wpid-20140510_181717.jpg I find pleasure in writing about life out here but last night was different.  The driver looking out of window before retiring said “No” I asked what was that? “Lot lizard” some one soliciting. I felt a deep heart tug. It was very cold outside and late and I asked myself “how bad must things be that a female could muster up courage to knock on a window of someone she has never met and then proceed to be intimate with that person”.  I chose not to cry but to write and tell her if I could, she doesn’t have to be so brazen  and try to get her drug of choice some other way some other day. To me she is not a lot lizard. Although I can’t save you I want you to know I care.  It’s in my prayers that I will ask that you’d not be so bold.

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STUFF..ING

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Today we delivered an “overflow” which are items left behind because there wasn’t enough room in the first place.  We have delivered several of these overflows, none of which we have created.  I realized that some of us  most of us all of us are attached to our stuff. Long time ago Life magazine featured families all around the world and their stuff. A Saudi family,  a nomadic family in Nepal, and a  family from America were the ones I remember.  All the items in the home were brought outside placed on a foundation and lifted on a crane.  Of course the American family of four had the most stuff.  The Saudi family had twice as many people but significantly less. 2 or 3 Mercedes and super long couch is what I remembered. The nomadic family had whatever they could load on 4 or 5 Yaks. I’m somewhere in between the Saudis and the Yaks. I have become a keen observer of behaviors and some of us are possessed by our possessions. The accumulation can be overwhelming since I only have 2 feet and wearing more than one pair of shoes at a time is a realization that maybe I got the message a little too late.

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Mighty Miss

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The River is milk chocolate brown and is 12,355,200 feet long.  I try to imagine all the written and unwritten history that has taken place here. In long haul trucking it’s the  most often used reference amongst drivers. And just about everybody had to spell it in second grade.  She is beautiful and dangerous and her silt is showing.  Between the giant barges and alligators she has plenty of company  and doesn’t get mad when I cross her…

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over and over again.

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Three dollars and ten cents

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The cost of two DVDs from a store called Big Lots is worth more than I thought. I spoke of Cabin Fever before and nothing has change since the drone of bouncing in a truck and watching time go by. Then to set my sense of justice for the everyman consumer in a perturbed direction, I grab a 4.25 ounce of pistachios for 4.29 with a sign that says a dollar off from price, I wait in line and the guy name James from the Pilot in Tyler Texas tells me I need the second bag in order to get the dollar discount. WHAT?! I said “dude I read the sign twice and…” I run back to get the chicken shit little sign that has me all fired up. I hand it to him and told him this happens a lot, he thanked me and I left. I in truck mode and take pride in being both prompt and the first one back in the truck not keeping the driver waiting. This is ruining my pristine record of being on time all the time. I receive that look from both of the guys like " she should know better. Nothing like the housewives of Orange County and looking at the Yule Log fireplace video to soothe my nerves. For three dollars and ten cents, approximately the price of those damn pistachios.

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Fork in the Road

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Eating healthy was the goal but now it’s about making choices with the best outcome.  When you have a 53 foot trailer and truck, you are limited to truck stops for you dining options.  The limits increase ten fold once you get inside. I look around and see the swelling of rolled hotdogs and all package foods. I am scared (scarred too)further by the sites of many a trucker with large abdomens.  It seems these pendulant bellies are accompanied by missing teeth. A vicious cycle begins since you can’t chew properly for nutrients you stick to soft foods.  Some salad bars are hideous others like today terrific. Plain strawberries and grapes. Some soups are identified by observation not by title. Green Chile beef soup did not sound appetizing but upon inspection so healthy. Beans bay leaf clear broth and meat that appeared decent and edible. So soup du jour.

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